Dead Lizards & Cooking Grease
I woke up at about 10ish am. In retrospect, as broken as the slumber was, I am grateful that I was able to stay in bed until 10am.
He always tells me he loves waking up with me in the morning and I’m like, Are you on drugs?! I’m a psycho in the morning!
Anyway, his fabulous, tanned, gorgeous tattooed self greeted my snarling, groggy , Mom jeans wearin’ ass with an incredible cup of campfire coffee and gazed at me adoringly.
He MUST be on something…
We chatted around the fire on a beautiful, perfect mid morning, stuffing our faces with sausage, eggs & biscuits, while the boys drove cars and shovels through the dirt and Miss Baby chewed on her toys in the pack and play.
When Miss Baby started fussing for a nap, I started straightening the tent for her and Mr Toddler to romp around inside.
Eric made ready to take down the tarps and shake out the back up tent for our impending departure.
I tossed laundry, the laptop and Mr 9YO in the truck and went to do laundry while I did some internet stuff that required a better signal and something other than the iPhone.
I parked myself by the lake, with the sun beating down and the breeze wafting through.
If I actually made money off all of the writing, blogging and photography that I do on a daily basis, I would have snapped a photo with a caption like View from The Office, or #lovemyjob
I make zero dollars off this hustle even though I fall asleep dreaming of my ebooks going viral and they’re loved by millions of people and our blog & Youtube videos fully support us.
After finishing the edit on the ebook, I took a minute to stretch and looked up at the eastern tree line. Out of nowhere, the blue sky was dark brown and gray.
Immediately, I thought, Tornado!
Then I thought, Fire?!
I grabbed the phone and texted Eric.
Wtf is wrong with the sky?!
What in the actual f**k is that????
I’m slightly freaked out
I went to get the laundry out of the dryer and saw something laying on top of the clothes that looked like a rolled up dryer receipt. I plucked it out and instantly shrieked and dropped it. It landed dangerously close to my flip flopped feet. My toes seemed irrationally vulnerable.
It was a dead lizard.
Seems there really is a first time for everything. I considered snapping a photo but was more concerned about the sky.
Seems it was a controlled burn, and wasn’t raging out of control because it quickly dissipated and police, fire and rangers WERENT rushing in to warn everyone at the campground to vacate.
I managed to accomplish 2 out of the 3 major items on my list but couldn’t, for the life of me, get the proper sized cover photo uploaded for the paperback version of the ebook. Finally, I gave up and headed back to the campsite.
Miss Baby was kicking happily in her seat and Eric was playing catch with Mr Toddler.
For the win!
We straightened up the site, cleaned, changed and dressed the babies, made a stack of pb&j and hopped in the truck to swing by WalMart where I watched two undercover security guards lecturing a kid for shoplifting.
We played 80’s classics on the drive back and as usual, got passed by every Floridian that pulled up behind us, even though we were doing at least the speed limit.
Screw it, the kids were quiet, the wind was in our hair and Guns & Roses was billowing from the speakers.
I loaded the skillet with burgers, bacon and hot dogs and consequently, grease spilled over and we had authentic flame broiled dinner.🔥🍔🌭🥓🔥
After wiping down two dusty babies, quelling a kid tantrum and finally zombie-ing our parent brains to our chairs beside the fire, we clicked our cups and relaxed for a minute.
The aforementioned ebook is available on Amazon.
I assure you: it’s as satirical, entertaining and helpful as this blog 😁