Why the Heck Are We Doing This?!

Our quiet time (hopefully) is when we crawl into our sleeping bag and talk together before bed.

One of these nights, possibly in the teens into the trip, I turned to Eric and said, “Wow. We really did run away from our life for a few months.”

You bet your ass we did!

In 2017, life was sucking. Stress. Dangerous birth. Job sucks. Deaths. Crappy neighborhood. Kids behaving badly.

I got to the end of the year and felt emotionally and mentally drawn and quartered.

Then, on New Year’s Eve, on one of our only kid free nights of the year, Eric had his second heart attack. He had it right in front of me in the ER while the staff treated him like utter shit and acted like he was making it up.

A week later, he had to return to work.

It’s gut wrenching.

We decided that we would take our tax return and do something epic. Anything!

Something different than the grind. Something other than hoping Mr 9YO won’t get verbally harassed by the neighborhood kids.

Something besides wondering if our vehicles will be vandalized or broken into or if Eric is going to get jumped or shot on his next delivery to Festival Field, the local dirtbag ghetto that Dominos refuses to cut off deliveries to.

Letting the kids run around and taking a break from the bill collectors and arguing the state about health insurance.

Life is too short.

This is such a cliche thing to say, but really, it is. As Eric was having his heart attack, thoughts flooded my brain:

He’s fucking dying. He’s dying right now.

He’s not going to see the baby walk because he’s fucking dying!

I can’t live without him. I will literally die without him.

If the hospital isn’t helping, WHO DO I CALL? Do I call the police?

What do I do?

Pray. I’m going to pray. Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…

All things are possible with God.

Breathe, Lovins, relax your body. We’ll get through this.

It’s ok. You’re ok.

I love you

That shit sucked.

What didn’t suck is that he made it. His body fought through it (literally, google heart attack collaterals) and he survived.

So, we said screw it. Our dream is to travel. We’re taking our couple thousand dollars and doing what we can with it.

We wanted to spend time with our kids. Eric especially, who works full time.

We wanted to spend time together, to find the rhythm of the earth and wake up to birds chirping and nature moving around us.

We have next to nothing, but we have our fairly sane minds and some of our wits about us.

Not to mention that together, we are resourceful AF and can accomplish ANYTHING.

And we will never have to say that we regret NOT trying.


They’re is a moth in my wine.


Oh, cool lizard footage below:

Lizard eventually chomps a bug here!⬅️⬅️



2 thoughts on “3 Months In a Tent ⛺️/ Day 39”

  1. Xoxo. You are really finding a voice and a rhythm here. Keep up the sharing and creating and exploring!

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